A common rhetoric we hear from almost everyone is “do what makes you happy”. In fact, this is such a common viewpoint that it’s argued against by the anti-happy crowd. “Do what will give you a good life” or “Do what makes you happy” — told as if you can have one, but not both.
As a child, I never really understood this. The happiness argument does not make sense because, in reality, life is not binary. There is no single decision that leads you to becoming poor and happy or rich and depressed. In fact, you’re probably none of those.
I think the message people are really trying to get at is not about happiness. Happiness is dangerous because it is an emotion. When put in this perspective, we can intuitively see that basing your life decisions around an emotion is likely not a good idea. Another example would be basing your life around lust (which is never a good idea).
Emotions are volatile. Happiness comes and goes, and we are not very good at controlling emotions. A simple example is the weather affecting somebody’s mood. You can feel happy when it’s sunny, then sad when it’s raining the next day. There’s an entire term around this coined seasonal depression.
We hear the same thing all the time. The classic story of the person who hates their job, so they spend the majority of the week waiting for that Friday beer and weekend escape from their miserable commute. They repeat this happy-sad cycle every week for years.
Clearly, the problem with happiness is that it is dependent on external factors rather than an internal locus of control. Ideally, you build a life around a state of being that you have maximum control over. This allows you to reach your ideal state on your own terms.
The term for this is fulfillment. I believe fulfillment and happiness are two drastically different things. Happiness is easy to acquire (drugs, alcohol, or spending money can easily provide happiness) but fulfillment is extremely hard. It is a privilege to even have the optionality to attempt to live a life of fulfillment, and so if given the opportunity I believe one should do it.
Interestingly, I have noticed that when I make choices that lead to fulfillment, I have a higher median level of happiness than times I make choices that lead to happiness itself.
So, this also means you can use a binary “fulfillment” or “happiness” decision criteria to make decisions. Either way, you will be happy. This is contradictory to the common rhetoric because regardless of the decision you make, you will be happy! The more important question is for how long.
Then, to maximize long-term happiness (alongside many other positive things), you should choose fulfillment.